Happy New Year

Hoping everyone had a great start to the New Year. Not much celebrating here, just drinking to numb my mind so maybe I could get a good nights sleep.

Today marks M's one year Angelversary. It feels like it was just yesterday she got her wings. 

My brain fog seems to be getting worse. We've taken so many ''scenic routes'' to get to where we're going lately. Scenic routes in our home means I've missed the correct turn. Oh well, we get there one way or another. The weather has been dreary which doesn't help. I feel so numb, it's a really weird feeling. I expected to be in tears all day. Oh they are there don't get me wrong, just not constant. I've been trying to keep myself busy which helps. Hard to do when you feel like just curling up and staying in bed. 

 I know I'm not in a good place right now, heck haven't been for so long.  Feels like this is my new normal. But I keep getting up each morning and go through my routines/chores. Kind of feel like a robot, methodically going about my day. I keep waiting for the ache to ease. I don't think it ever will. 

Melissa, my love for you is infinite. 

I miss you more than ever imaginable.

The funnier side of my sweet beautiful daughter 💔

What's Normal?

I don't want my blog to have a ''woe is me'' theme. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything like that. I'm hoping by getting back into blogging that I can get to a new normal, whatever that looks like. I haven't crafted in sooo long. I'd like to get back to that and share them here. That's not to say there won't be sad, uncomfortable posts. I've closed all my shops, unfortunately that's not something I can commit to.  No idea how often I'll post, I know I've lost a lot of my followers.  I don't blame them, it looked like I'd fallen off the edge of the earth, which it feels like I have.  I have read that when you lose a child your whole brain, organs - basically your whole physiology changes.  I sure can vouch for the brain part. Of course sleepless nights don't help either. Eyes popped open at 1 am, been up since.  

I'm sure this post is a jumbled up mess and probably doesn't make much sense. Nothing makes much sense these days. I feel guilty for not having any decorations up for my kids and grands. But they're basically in the same mindset. Feeling guilty if we have a smile on our face. How can we celebrate these damn holidays when we're not all here?  And missing her so much?

We all had a good crying session last night. I went looking in my gift wrapping tote to wrap my son's fiancée's gift. I happened across a gift bag from last year with M's name on the tag. The dam broke and tears rushed out. Everyone came to see what happened...then we all just broke open. All our brave faces were gone. 

My wish this Christmas is that no one else has to lose their child.

Wishing everyone a Happy Healthy Holiday Season 🎄

                                                                                      

                                                                                      

Good Riddance 2025

I know I've been MIA for quite some time. My life has been completely turned upside down. I know we all go thru rough spots, but the end of '24 and the beginning of '25 were really, really bad.  

On Christmas Eve day my daughter ran a fever of 102. Since this was the only symptom she had, I figured she was coming down with the flu. That night she woke up screaming she couldn't breathe. Got her into the car and flew to Emergency.  

As I was getting her in a wheelchair, she said "I'm going to die". I told her no she wasn't, they'd give her some antibiotics and we'd be out of there.  They took her in immediately. Tested for COVID, Flu, Valley Fever, RSV, and more. All came back negative. After Xray's, meds, lab work, etc. they admitted her to ICU, saying she had pneumonia. I was so confused as to how it could come on so fast when she had only been sick 1 day with only fever as a symptom. They tried to Intubate her she fought them -  she has a severe gag reflex which is what they figured was why she fought them. At one point she stood up on the bed, shaking with eyes darting so fast back and forth it was hard to even follow them. They yelled she's having a seizure. She then collapsed. This surely had to be a nightmare from ''The Exorcist''. But it wasn't. They put her on a paralytic which paralyzed her so she wouldn't fight the machine.  It was awful. After several days on antibiotics not only had her right lung filled with infection but the left one had started to also. I couldn't get my wits about me to advocate for her enough.....like why was she getting worse? Why not change antibiotics, drain her lungs, etc. It all seemed surreal, surely I was having a nightmare. Jan. 3rd they decided to wean her off the paralytic. She would wake up once in a while and we would communicate by 1 blink for yes, 2 for no. She couldn't talk due to the tracheotomy. She said she was scared, I encouraged her to keep fighting, that things would get better and they would be able to remove the trach. I left that night feeling good that we had been able to "talk", feeling she was getting better. I got a call Jan. 4th early in the morning. I was to get to the hospital immediately. When I arrived I was told her organs were shutting down, that they had been giving her CPR longer than they would normally because she was so young. They wouldn't let me in the room but I did see them use the paddles as they were ushering me by her room. They just couldn't get her heart to stay in sinus rhythm. I was told there was nothing further they could do. I just couldn't comprehend what they were saying, what do you mean there isn't anything more they could do?  It seemed they were all talking at once, their conversations were all jumbled up. I final realized they were asking me of they could stop. My heart sank, I shook my head yes.

That was they day my heart broke, it would never be whole again. This couldn't be happening. She was my best friend, we were attached at the hip, went every where together. How could she be gone. I wanted to go in and say goodbye, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. My boyfriend went in said his goodbyes and gave her a kiss for me. There were so many images I had in my head, I was scared to add this to them. Regret it? yes I do now, why wasn't I stronger? How could I have failed her like this? How could this come on so quickly? What did I do wrong? Why didn't I catch on earlier?  Questions, I was filled with questions with no answers. Just filled with guilt. On the drive home, of course I balled my eyes out. How was I going to tell my 3 sons their only sister was gone. I had to be strong, the only thing I didn't feel I could do.

Melissa Marie Newton

June 29, 1979 - January 3, 2025

Forever 45

I love you more than life itself and miss you every moment of everyday.

I apologize if this seems jumbled up. Doing the best I can to get this down through waves of tears. here will be more to come. Not that anyone will want to read this, just thought it maybe cathartic for me.

Be kind to people you come across, for you don't know what they may be going through.

My Sweet Melissa

Keep Calm Coloring Pages

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Upcycled Electric Candle Sticks

 For those of you who follow me, you know I'm decluttering everything.

Just take a look at my Etsy Shop! LOL

 

 I found a couple of electric Dusk to dawn candlesticks 

and was ready to donate them. 

Have had them for years, 

don't even remember where I got them from.

Then a light bulb went off,

 as it sometimes does,

 but I never find the time to actually act on it! 

But I made time for these.

I gathered what supplies I thought I would need:

the candlestick, paint, 

an image found on line (deciding on an Easter Bunny), 

and glue

I painted the stick with white chalk paint,

 in case any of it would end up showing.

Mixed purple and white paint to make more of a 

pastel shade and painted the base.

Roughly measured the image to cut it to fit.

 and glued in on the candle stick.

It comes on at dusk and turns off in the morning

The other one I used a Mermaid image on for my bedroom

A cute and quick little craft

Quick and Easy Mini Easter Buckets

Darling Easter buckets that can be filled with whatever you like, candies, candles, a plant, etc.  Perfect for hiding with special prizes for your Easter Egg Hunt, favors, gifts, décor and more.

I picked these little metal buckets up at different garage sales.

Brought them home and washed them up. 

I then went on-line to look for Easter images 

I liked and printed several different ones out.

Cut them out.

Glued them on with white glue which I already had.

Held for a few mins for the image to adhere

There you have it, simple, quick and easy!

They would be cute as whatever you decide to use them for.

Growing and Crafting with Herbs

Fragrant Herbs

Growing herbs is easy and fun.

Here are some tips for growing and simple ways to use or

preserve your homegrown herbs.

Rosemary

Rosemary is a shrub with fragrant evergreen needle like leaves and will bloom blue flowers along the stems.

Rosemary is best planted in the spring and likes to grow in a sunny spot. A well draining sandy or loamy soil is best. Rosemary is drought tolerant when established.

There are a quite of different ways to use Rosemary. Such as making potpourri, a wreath, add to a floral spray, drink in tea, cooking and more.

*Tip* Make a brush with fresh Rosemary sprigs by tying the ends. Use to add sauce to meat while barbequing. You'll not only brushing on your sauce/marinade but adding Rosemary flavor also.

Lemon Verbena

Lemon Verbena is a flowering shrub with sprawling branches. Lemon Verbena prefers warm weather. Plant your Lemon Verbena in the spring in fertile soil. 

The fragrant slender leaves can be used in a variety of ways. The strong lemony scent bodes well in herbal sachets, bath bombs, soaps and cooking.

Bay Tree

The Bay Tree has large, pointed oval leaves that are deep, glossy green. Plants prefer partial shade but will tolerate full sun. The Bay prefers average garden soil.

Having pliable branches Bays are perfect for making wreaths, swags, even crowns. 

*TIP* Bay trees are easily propagated. Bay Tree propagation begins by taking cuttings, do this in summer when the wood is green and pliable. Take three or so cuttings at least 6'' long. You want the cutting to be firm but the wood should be easy to bend. Strip off all leaves from each cutting except the top two or three. Dip stems in rooting hormone and place in small pots. within a couple of months you should have rooted cuttings. Give them an easy tug, if you feel resistance you have roots!

Sage

Grow sage in the mild weather of spring or fall in well draining soil with lots of sunlight. 

Easily repel mosquitoes by tossing a few sage branches into your outdoor fire. They make excellent smudge bundles, wreaths, herbal sachets, place down the center of your dining table for a fragrant centerpiece base, soaps, decorate candles and more.

*TIP* Herbs are easy to grow. Most like full to partial sun, Semi-moist soil (meaning they can dry out between watering's), and they like to be trimmed. Trimming not only makes them more compact, but gives you trimmings to cook with.

Mint

Mint plants grow quickly and should be planted in the spring in a damp, moist area with well-draining soil. Mint likes a spot that's in either full sun or part shade. Its small white or purple summer blooming flowers attract bees, butterflies, and other pollinators.

Mint makes for very fresh and stimulating bath teas, herbal swags, candles, and soaps. dried and crumbled on your carpet, then vacuumed up yields a fresh scented room.

*TIP* Mint loves to spread! Before you know it you will have a good patch of mint. To keep it in bounds, plant in a container to contain roots. Be sure to pinch off any flower buds you see. If you let them flower, seeds will form which is another way they sprout and spread easily.

Growing herbs gives you such a variety of ways to use in home décor and crafts.

Should you not be lucky enough to have an herb garden,

I do have several varieties in my Etsy Shop.

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Great Value LED Deco Light Bulb ~ Review

Great Value LED Light Bulb, Deco Lamp E12 Candelabra Base, Dimmable, Daylight, 4-Pack

Great Value LED Light Bulbs with Candelabra Base are just what I needed for my ceiling fan light. The base fits perfectly and I love the deco shape of the bulb. The fan light is the only lighting in one area, these are daylight which make the room bright. Being that they are dimmable, it's nice when you just want subdued lighting at night. They arrived in perfect condition, none broken, packed well.

I may have received one or more of the products mentioned above for free or a discounted price. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

Mainstays Iridescent Lightweight PEVA Shower Curtain Liner, Clear - Review

''Add a bit of dimension and create the illusion of more open space in your bathroom décor with the Mainstays Luminous PEVA Shower Curtain Liner. This semi-transparent PEVA shower liner features an iridescent geometric design that creates a kaleidoscope effect as it shifts in color when light hits it. The Luminous PEVA Shower Curtain Liner is available in clear, gray, and aqua. It can be used alone or be paired with a decorative fabric shower curtain. The buttonhole top construction is compatible with various styles of shower hooks or rings. The shower liner measures 70 inches by 72 inches and fits standard size shower or tub areas. For easy care, just wipe clean with a damp cloth.''

 

Very impressed by the thickness of the PEVA. Not sure if it is the thickness or something else, but the Mainstays Shower Curtain does not cling to you while showering as some I've had in the past have done. Installation was a breeze. The iridescent geometric pattern is almost like a hologram. Gorgeous when the light shifts and all the different colors show up. The design of the shower curtain makes it suitable for any color bathroom.

I may have received one or more of the products mentioned above for free or a discounted price. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.