What's Normal?

I don't want my blog to have a ''woe is me'' theme. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything like that. I'm hoping by getting back into blogging that I can get to a new normal, whatever that looks like. I haven't crafted in sooo long. I'd like to get back to that and share them here. That's not to say there won't be sad, uncomfortable posts. I've closed all my shops, unfortunately that's not something I can commit to.  No idea how often I'll post, I know I've lost a lot of my followers.  I don't blame them, it looked like I'd fallen off the edge of the earth, which it feels like I have.  I have read that when you lose a child your whole brain, organs - basically your whole physiology changes.  I sure can vouch for the brain part. Of course sleepless nights don't help either. Eyes popped open at 1 am, been up since.  

I'm sure this post is a jumbled up mess and probably doesn't make much sense. Nothing makes much sense these days. I feel guilty for not having any decorations up for my kids and grands. But they're basically in the same mindset. Feeling guilty if we have a smile on our face. How can we celebrate these damn holidays when we're not all here?  And missing her so much?

We all had a good crying session last night. I went looking in my gift wrapping tote to wrap my son's fiancée's gift. I happened across a gift bag from last year with M's name on the tag. The dam broke and tears rushed out. Everyone came to see what happened...then we all just broke open. All our brave faces were gone. 

My wish this Christmas is that no one else has to lose their child.

Wishing everyone a Happy Healthy Holiday Season 🎄