Welcome to my
Perfectly Imperfect Life..........

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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy New Year!!



I'd like to wish everyone a safe, healthy and prosperous New Year!


May we keep on:

crafting
treasure hunting
scavenging
creating
hoping
dreaming
loving
junking
thrifting
sharing

and most of all
Blogging!

It was January the 1st

I turned over a new leaf
It was clean on the top side
But had bugs underneath.

- Steve Turner



Now there are more overweight people in
America than average-weight people.
 So overweight people are now average… which means,
you have met your New Year's resolution.

-Jay Leno


New Year's Day… now is the accepted time
 to make your regular annual good resolutions.
Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

-Mark Twain




New Years Resolutions

Funny Resolutions 
  • Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.
  • I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.
  • I will not bore my boss with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.
  • I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
  • I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
  • I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly....
  • I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses.
  • I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
  • I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
  • I will think of a password other than "password."
  • I will not tell the same story at every get together.
  • I will cut my hair.
  • I will grow my hair.
  • I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!
  • I will be more imaginative.
  • Spend more time watching TV / movies.
  • Chat more over phone / Internet.
  • Read less.  
  • Stop exercising. Waste of time.
  • Procrastinate more.
  • Drink. Drink some more.
  • Start being superstitious.
  • Stop drinking orange juice after I just brushed my teeth.
  • Stop licking frozen flag poles
  • Watch more cute and cuddly kitten videos on YouTube 
  • Switch my username to “password” and my password to “username” to make each a lot harder for hackers to figure out
  • Watch less T.V…. in standard definition
  • Stop buying worthless junk on Ebay, because QVC has better specials
  • Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes
  • Help kids stay safe by not texting on my cell phone while eating McDonald’s and speeding through crosswalks in school zones with a frost covered windshield
  • Talk with a robot voice all the time


For Pets
•Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.
•Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.
•I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
•Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog shows.
•Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to us when no one is around.
•Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
•Always scoot before licking.
•Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.
•Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year.
•January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock. AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets...
•I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND.


New Year Superstitions

 Avoid Crying
It is said that one should avoid breaking things or crying and wailing on the first day of the year, if you don't want to continue the pattern for the entire year.
 
Letting the Old Year Out

At midnight, all the doors of a house must be opened to let the old year escape unimpeded.
 
Make Noise

People believe that Evil One and his attendants and servants hate din and loud noise. So, scare them away by being as loud in New Year celebrations as possible. Church bells are rung at midnight for the same reason.
Don't Keep Debts

Pay your bills and loans before New Year Eve, so you don't have any debt left for New Year.


Eat Black-Eyes Peas

In Southern part of the United States it is said that eating of black-eyed peas on New Year's Day will attract both general good luck and money in particular to the one doing the dining.


Kiss at Midnight

It is believed that kissing at midnight ensures that affections and ties will continue throughout the New Year. On similar lines, it is said, to not do this would be to set the stage for a year of coldness.
First Footing

One must never leave the home before someone comes in first. First footer in the house should be ushered in with a warm welcome and should not have flat feet, cross-eyes or eyebrows stretching out to meet in the middle. It would be even better if he came bearing certain small gifts.

The Direction of Wind

The direction of wind during sunrise on New Year morning prophesies about the coming year. Wind from south foretells fine weather and prosperous times ahead while wind from north foretells bad weather. Wind blowing from east foretells natural calamities and wind from west foretells plenty of milk and fish for all but death of a person of great national importance. No wind means joy and prosperity throughout the year.
Dance in the Open Air

To dance in the open air, especially round a tree, on New Year's Day ensures luck in love and prosperity and freedom from ill health during the coming twelve months.

Drain the Bottle
(my personal fav)

You could ensure yourself good fortune by draining the last dregs from a bottle of drink on New Years!

Let this coming year be better than all the others. Vow to do some of the things you've always wanted to do but couldn't find the time. Call up a forgotten friend. Drop an old grudge, and replace it with some pleasant memories. Vow not to make a promise you don't think you can keep. Walk tall, and smile more. You'll look ten years younger. Don't be afraid to say, 'I love you'. Say it again. They are the sweetest words in the world.

-Ann Landers
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