Welcome to my
Perfectly Imperfect Life..........

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Thursday, December 1, 2011

Is the Day OVer yet?

Woke up with a call from the neighbor that the fence was down and she was leaving for work.
We've had strong winds the last few days and it always hits the same section every year.
Guess we're not great fence fixers.

We both have dogs and she was worried.
I guess yesterday when she got home her dogs were out
and a section on the other side was down.

So I get up, throw on some clothes,
head for the kitchen to give meds to my pets only to see an invasion of ants.
OK spray, clean, pill, head outside.

In the meantime, T is looking for wood to secure the fence section.
I thought we still had an iron fence post from the farm so start looking for it.
Eureka! I found it.
I used it to prop up the section.
It is so hard to work on the fence with that wind hitting it
so this metal post will have to hold til the wind dies down.

I come in the house only to see Cyndar crouching in the corner...she's scared of the wind...oy
She will usually hold "it" for days but wasn't able to this time.
OK clean up.

Phone rings.
It's the Optometrist's office wanting to know if C an come in for his appointment today
since they had a cancellation.
Uh no,
Thursdays are counseling days and today is his turn
Time as well as emotionally draining.

He went to get his permit yesterday, passed the written test,
but when he went for the eye exam she had him stand at the corner of two charts.
With the angle he was at he couldn't make out either very well.
She told him he could use either chart...?
He asked to move she said it wasn't necessary.
So that's the reason for the eye check...oy!

So with all that's happened within my first hour of awakening
I thought I, as well as you, could maybe use a little laughter.
I received these from my sister
OY!

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!



An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says. 'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The



94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down?' The 92-year-old was sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood...' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday..' And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex...' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

Now this one is just too Precious...LOL!

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is..'

Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

 SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car.. It's hundreds of them!'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.'

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So she turned to the other woman and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!'

Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!


Wishing all a happy day!
 

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